Tuesday Girl

2024-04-30

It's been a while since I've made a blog post. I think it would do me good to try and write them more often, and not care whether or not they're "good" or not. With that being said, it's important to also recognize that it's Tuesday. It's an important Tuesday, actually. Normally, I have lab on Tuesdays, but I don't have it today. I won't have it ever again, this week is the last week of the semester. That, itself, brings a certain anxiety, or rather, set of anxieties to me.

Of course, there are the academic ones. I have a lot of assignments I need to finish in this last week. It's enough to make my head spin, but I think I'll be able to pull through. What I worry about the most is actually what comes after, the summer break before my Junior year as an undergrad. I'm not so sure I want to spend it like how I spent my summer before my sophomore year. It wasn't a bad time, no, not at all, but I'm quickly realizing a pattern of lonliness and solitude that persists throughout every extended period of time I have to myself. At least with the actual semester, I have coursework and other such things to focus on so it doesn't get so bad. When I have so much time, though, I start to waste it.

Maybe I could get a job...I really want to, truthfully.

I'm just a Tuesday girl in this Tuesday world. What I mean by that, I could probably never tell you. My blog posts really arent the ones to look at if you wanna see deep critical thinking. This is moreso a machine for transcribing my emotions more than anything else. And on that note, I've been feeling bad. If you follow some of my more hidden accounts, that much is plain as day. I almost fell into a spiral today, actually. Working on my website, or moreso the act of writing for it, has improved my mood dramatically. So, crisis averted.

If I can just divert my attention more often into better, more productive things, maybe I'll have better Tuesdays.

I guess I'll just have to bank on that. I think I'll treat myself, maybe. See if I can get chinese takeout for lunch or something. That'd be cool.